The New Uchiha Cop Force
by pokemonperson
Summary: being re-written.
1. Chapter 1

**Yo! This is basically a multiple one-shot related thing which basically is about Sasuke putting back up the police force, with Naruto his partner. **

**None of these one-shots will affect wachother much, and this isn't much of a story, as it's more of a bunch of conjoined events. This is the first installment of:**

**Uchiha force cop squad: **

**A new beginning!**

**Important: I don't own Naruto. Kakashi is the 6****th**** Hokage, Tsunade is alive, head of medical staff, Naruto and Sasuke are around 22/23 years old, and are married: Naru/Hina &amp; Sasu/Karin.**

**Lezz go!**

**Fresh prince bell air theme parody song (it sucks, you can skip if you want.l**

"So this is a story,

about how,

my life got flipped,

and turned upside down!

And I'd like to take a

second

So don't go yall

As I tell ya

How we work in Konohana

at the police hall"

**Insert dancing freestyle done by Sasuke.**

"It all started a year ago

When I was born

And raised in my home town

Where my brother killed my family

While I was young

Spendin rest of my days

Beating up some others

then running away

while Working on killing my bro,

When I finally got him

well then I found out,

He did it all,

As some sort of service

So I took his eyes, as he took my family

And started being a douche, to my old friends

and then I returned,

to my sensei, the new kage

And he said "You're

Paying back the leaf with

A public service"

Now, for real now, if you skipped the song or didn't get it, Sasuke is back in the village, but has to repay his treachery for betraying the leaf, and trying to harm the tailed beasts, who now live peacefully or willingly work with villages, almost making him public enemy number one.

If it weren't for a certain blonde.

Naruto, playing a major part in the war, helped Sasuke out for a pardon, so he wouldn't be killed, but still punished.

And after waiting for a few years, and discussing it with the council, they came to a conclusion

"Sasuke," said Kakashi (a.k.a 6th Hokage Hatake), "AS you know, simply putting it, you OWE us for your treachery."

"Hai," said Sasuke calmly, even though a nervousness was emitting from within him.

"Now Sasuke, you know that Konohana has no police force, right?" Sasuke nodded. "And why is that?

"All the Uchihas were killed by Itachi, who ended up saving the leaf."

Kakashi nodded, "Yes," he began, "They all died… except for one."

Sasuke looked Kakashi in the eye, "Sasuke Uchiha!" he began, Sasuke shot up, "From this day forth, you will be starting the new Konohana police force. You will do it for the good of the village, and in the name of your clan."

Sasuke's eyes perked up, "Really?" he asked. Sasuke wanted to rebuild the police force, and this would benefit him in the end.

"Yes, however," he began with the catch, "You won't start off with a force, you can only start off with up to 5 people in your force, the Anbu will deal with any assistance you need, or handle anything you can't."

"Why only 5?" Sasuke asked, being the curious one he was.

"Because… I really don't know, but you can have more in a few more years, like 5."

Sasuke nodded again, not questioning the kage. "Okay, so where do I begin."

"Well that's up to you, and your partner, the second member of you team of 5."

"Who is…" he started, before a flash of yellow burst through the window.

"Teme!" yelled Naruto, on the back of a toad he summoned, "It is I! The handsome, brave, amazing, powerful Uzu-maki Nar-ruto! (Imagine Jiraiya when he met Naruto)"

"… You're the spitting image of Jiraiya Naruto," Said Kakashi.

"I do my best. I've always wanted to do that!" he perched.

"Dobe?" asked Sasuke, 'You're joining the police force?"

"I have to, to make sure you don't screw up. You want to be fully welcomed back, so I'm helping you with this."

Sasuke smirked at his long-time friend, "Just don't get in my way dobe, and this'll work."

Kakashi thought, will this really do the leaf any good, or will this… unique team just cause more harm than good?' but it was too late, the council was all for it, and so was Naruto, so he couldn't disagree. "Alright you too, why don't you check out your new headquarters? Sasuke, you should know the way, same with you Naruto, since you ended up at that place a lot as a kid."

"You bet I did!" he exclaimed with glee.

"… dobe," he muttered as he walked out, with Naruto waiting outside, taking the window as a shortcut."

Yes, that day marked a new chapter in the life of the leaf shinobi and citizens, for better or for worse, this cracked up team will do everything they can to protect the leaf.

"We aren't they force the people need," Naruto began.

"Were the one they deserve," finished Sasuke.

**More one-shot works continuing this endless misadventure to come, this will technically never complete since this is more of a, multiple misadventures type story, so it will always stay complete in the genre.**

**Also, yes this chapter sucks, but bear with me, please senpai.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright.**

**I don't own Naruto or any of the characters I may use in the story.**

**All rights go to Kishimoto of Naruto and the owners of the characters I use.**

**P.S did you notice me senpai?**

**Chapter 2 of whatever: the unfriendly foe.**

Naruto and Sasuke arrived at the police force headquarters. It was in fairly good condition on the outside, everyone respected it enough to leave it alone. But as soon as they got inside…

"This place is dump!" yelled Naruto.

There were cracks, bugs, webs and plenty of dust all around the building, from years of neglect.

"Hn." Sasuke replied. He agreed it looked bad, but it could've been worse.

Naruto walked up to the first door he saw and opened it, with a shriek at what he saw. "What is it dobe?" asked Sasuke.

"spuh-spuh- SPIDER!" he yelled, running out of the window.

"Hmm." Snickered the dobe, seeing the great Uzumaki Naruto run in fear, of a spider of all things. He went to look at what the pansy was scared of, and stood face to face with a _**big, hairy, and thick **_brown spider.

Sasuke turned white as the spider showed its fangs.

"Spuh… spuh…"he started,"… **SPIDER!" **he yelled, loud enough for kami himself to hear, as he ran out of the building chasing a frightened Naruto.

* * *

**Hokage's tower:**

Kakashi sat at his desk, with a sweat drop listening to the two cowering boy's story. "So, what im hearing is, two of the greatest ninja's in the village… were scared by a big spider?"

"It wasn't big!" yelled Naruto, "It was _**Huge**_!"

"…O.K then." Kakashi was worried about the sanity of his once cute, now painstakingly insane genin (yes neither of them were ever promoted yet, with Naruto's luck and Sasuke not allowed to participate.) just then, Anko walked in.

"Anko! Just the girl I needed!"

"Really?" said Anko curiously, with a blush on her face since Kakashi_ needed_ her.

"I have a very important c-rank mission you must do."

"A c-rank?" she asked with a ticked off, bitchy tone in her voice, "Why would you even think a beautiful and talented jonin should take care of this?"

"Because," Kakashi started, shuffling paper around on his messy desk, "neither Naruto nor Sasuke can handle this mission, and this may be good on your file doing a mission, that these two gentlemen couldn't accomplish."

Anko though it over for a bit, "All right, so what is it?"

"Naruto and Sasuke will escort you to the police headquarters, there they will give you a full mission debriefing."

She nodded, "Alright… and Kakashi?"

Kakashi looked up to see the woman with two blue masks in her hand, "Nice face hot-stuff."

Kakashi flustered and fainted, having his face been revealed for the first time. Anko and Naruto snickered, as they took blackmail pictures, while Sasuke peered at his sensei with a curious look on his face. 'So it was a mole he was hiding…' he thought.

* * *

After an hour of Kakashi yelling at Anko, they went off to the headquarters when they arrived, Anko asked for a debriefing. "A spider? Is that it?" she asked, they both nodded. "Alright then, from what you say, it sounds huge."

"So you believe us?" asked a nervous Naruto.

She nodded, "After years with the big white snake as a sensei, you start believing in whatever you hear. In fact, he was working on a jumbo hybrid of spiders before he left."

Anko summoned a snake as tall as herself, and went in with her summon slithering behind her.

"Yesssssssss misstresssss?" he asked.

"Just eat a really big spider, nothing complicated." The snake nodded, and went into the room where the spider was.

It pounced! With its venomous fangs showing.

The spider jumped, dodging the snake, and causing it to crash into a wall, and dispel. Anko gaped at his. "Alright then… if one human sized snake won't work, then 100 little ones must be the answer!" she quickly made seals and summoned and army of snakes. "Get him my pretties!" she yelled, causing the army to attack. What happened next shocked her.

The spider went onto the ceiling, and started shooting the floor and walls with fresh, sticky webs. The snakes got stuck, and dispelled when he started attacking them.

Anko was ticked as they all went, "alright then, if that's the case, if a snake can't eat you alive…" she took out a plastic knife and fork, "**Then I will!"**

She charged at the spider, jumping over the mostly broken webs, ready to repeatedly stab a spider soufflé, but the spider was no pushover.

He dodged Anko, but he landed on her feet and hands, unfortunately on webs the bug just placed.

Anko was stuck, looking eye to eye with the spider that was approaching her, "Err, no hard feelings?" she asked the now attack position spider.

* * *

**Meanwhile outside…**

Sasuke and Naruto heard crashes and bumps coming from inside.

"You think she's doing it?" Sasuke asked, with his answer being a webbed Anko encased shooting out of the window.

They rushed over and untied it. "Damn it!" she yelled, she then looked at the boys, "You're on your own, that thing is crazy! It might as well have been my boyfriend from the things it did to me!" An Anko with shredded clothes walked away towards the Hokages office for a mission report, thinking 'if only he was human…'

Sasuke and Naruto stared in disbelief. "We need someone else," said Sasuke. "Let's try Shino, his clan knows a lot about bugs." Naruto nodded and went with Sasuke to look for their buggy friend.

* * *

They found him in a local park, watching butterflies fly around, and to beetles mate.

"Yo Shino!" Naruto yelled, approaching their friend and telling them of their problem. "So, what do we do?"

Shino adjusted his glasses, "The best way to remove the spider is to get some bait. The common food for most spiders is insects. Either get a large insect, or a good supply of them."

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other, with the same thought in their mind. They then looked at Shino with a devious look. Shino raised an eyebrow, "What is it?"

Sasuke quickly said, "You grab him and I'll tie him up!" he said, revealing a roll of duct tape.

Shino raised both his eyebrows, and was about to run, but Naruto tackled him to the ground and restrained him. Sasuke started wrapping his entire body in tape, except his mouth, where he complained in a monotone voice. "No. Please. Damnit Naruto. Damnit Sasuke. I will get you."

They both ignored his threats and, 'cries,' of plea, and walked back to their headquarters.

* * *

Once they got there, they tied Shino to a rope on a stick, and kicked down the door, "Hey! Arachne-dork!" Naruto yelled, causing the spider to approach the boys, "Come and get it!" he quickly caught whiff of the boy they had tied, and felt his hairy belly rumble. He pounced after the meal, but the boys ran outside, causing the spider to miss for once. "Can't catch us bug breath!" the spider was infuriated at the boys for taking away his pre-lunch, post midday, 3rd snack of the day, and came crashing through a wall chasing the boys.

As this scene took place, the villagers and shinobi who saw this started to hide and run indoors, being terrified of the big hairy beast.

Sasuke lead the spider outside of the village, in training area 7, and released Shino. He was mad, from the tone of his voice. "Naruto, Sasuke. I am so angry right now."

"Just help us fight this bug, and we'll make it up to you." Replied Sasuke. Shino nodded, having no real choice since if he refuses, he'll be eaten. All three of them took fighting stances, and so did the spider.

They made their move first.

Naruto was in his nine tails cloak, creating a rasen-shuriken, Sasuke created an Amaterasu black flame, combining its power with Naruto's jutsu, and Shino launched a few chakra induced kunai at the spider, with expanding chakra parasites on it, causing large insects to be launched at the arachnoid.

The spider saw this power, and dodged the rasen-shuriken, but they made it blow. Half the spider was encased in a black flame and was cut up, while the other half was being eaten up. They did it.

It was over…

But not quite over for Shino, "You two are dead."

"Shino," Naruto said, patting his friend on his shoulder, "We will make it up to you. Just name it and we'll do it."

Sasuke agreed with Naruto, knowing the fear of being eaten alive firsthand with his time with Orochimaru.

Shino thought about it, and came up with a solution, "Naruto, my little sister needs a clown for her birthday. People find you somewhat funny you would be acceptable." Naruto nodded, thinking it was an easy task enough. "Sasuke, you will shave your head."

"…what?" he asked, unsure if he heard Shino right.

"Your hair would be most appetizing for some of my insects, with the hair gel you use."

"But…"

"No butts." Shino interrupted, "You. Owe. Me."

Sasuke sighed, and wept a little that his precious hair was cut by Shino, on the spot. With a pair of rusty scissors. "All right! My perfect hair, it's all gone! Hope your bugs enjoy it."

"Oh I'm not feeding them your hair, that's just ridiculous," replied Shino.

Sasuke looked back at him. "_What_?"

"I just thought you'd look better bald." Shino said, with a smirk.

Sasuke looked at him, eyebrow twitching, "I should kill you right here…"

"But you won't," replied Shino, "You'll get into trouble with the Hokage, which would be really bad for you right now." Sasuke mumbled something, but not loud enough for anyone to hear. "Naruto," he said looking at the blonde, "I'll see you at my place later tonight for my sister's party. I'd say wear something ridiculous, but what you have right now would qualify."

Shino walked away from two outraged shinobi. Well, Naruto was almost outraged, but was too busy laughing at the Uchiha's attempt to cover his bald head with his shirt.

* * *

**6 hours later…**

Hinata was in the kitchen, making a bowl of ramen for when Naruto came home. Then she heard a knock on the door. "Naruto-kun! Welcome hom-"she turned around and stopped mid-sentence, to see her husband covered in black and blue paint, cake, scratch marks, and what looks like lice in his hair.

She just stared for a bit until Naruto walked into the bathroom, then she began her little snickering fit.

… **So whadya think? If you have any ideas for the force to handle, leave a review giving a brief scenario.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yah! My first review! I've taken said persons suggestion, and decided to do a Skyrim bit this chapter,**

**So without further ado, the first crossover episode/chapter!**

**I don't own Skyrim or Naruto**

**Chapter 3: The case of the stolen sweet roll!**

Sasuke was setting up the front desk, while looking good in his brand new hoodie (cause he was bald, and needs to cover up his head). After a few hours yesterday cleaning up the headquarters, with Naruto's help (or in this case, lack of help, so he didn't mess up anything), it was finally starting to take shape.

It was crisp, and clean, with the scent of melon in the air. They were still a few cracks, and empty rooms, but still, it was in a good portion.

And now, they may take work.

Nothing too complicated at first though, probably some civilian fight or missing cat, a mission ninja are banned from taking thanks to Naruto's position. Or even…

"Uchiha-Sama!" a masked Anbu cried, after barging in. Sasuke dropped the picture of Sakura he was about to put on his desk, shattering the frame, in slow-motion movie style.

"… Was that a genjutsu on that photo?" asked the Anbu.

"…" Sasuke just stared at the floor for a moment. "… so why are you here?"

"Oh right!" The Anbu lead a man waiting outside in, "This man is from a faraway land, and Hokage sama asked you guys to take care of it."

The man was in what looked like fur and silk clothing, with padding on the inside, perhaps armor? He was wielding a round shield, and had a helmet on covering his face on, with a small point on top. "Hello. I am a Stormcloak Soldier. Sworn loyally to Ulfric Stormcloak against the Imperials and foresworn. I've been tracking a stolen item, and tracked it to this village. I need your help."

Sasuke nodded. "Naruto! Get in here!" Naruto came downstairs pretty fast, using the Flying Thunder God technique (Hirashin no jutsu/ the jutsu that makes the fourth move in a flash). Everyone was startled by this. "Naruto, using a technique like that is a waste of chakra."

Naruto shrugged. "I've got plenty to waste. So what's up?"

"We've got our first case here," he said, pointing at the visitor. "You may leave now Anbu." The Anbu nodded and left.

"Alright guy, so what exactly is this case?" asked Naruto.

"I've been tracking a stolen sweet roll."

"…"

"…"

"..."

"..."

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other, then back to the man, and each other again. They did this for several other times before Sasuke spoke up.

"… Could you repeat that? We want to make sure we heard you right."

The Stormcloak nodded and repeated himself. "I came here to investigate the theft of a sweet roll that has been missing for a few weeks."

Sasuke nodded. He then walked towards the nearest wall, and beat his head repeatedly on the wall.

Naruto watched this for a bit before nodding. "Alright, we'll help. We have to start somewhere, right?"

After a few more minutes, Sasuke stopped and groaned. "So, where exactly is this sweet roll located?"

"Well, I tracked it into this local bandit camp not that far from this village. I'll give you a map. You two go, I'll wait here." The stormcloak replied.

"Wait," asked Naruto, "Why aren't you coming with us?"

"I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee. I can no longer go on long adventures like this."

"… An arrow?!" yelled Sasuke. "Do you even know the kind of things that get thrown at us daily?!"

"Did you ever get hit by an arrow?" Sasuke shook his head sideways, "Then shut up. You don't know what it feels like."

"I got hit by fire, light, giant rocks, razor sharp wind, boiling water, lava, ice, pointy knives, kunais and senbon. I also got a number of swords and incredible brute force thrown my way."

"Still not hearing an arrow." Sasuke was about to murder the man on the spot, but Naruto held him back. "Now go."

Naruto led Sasuke out, who was mumbling something about a stupid foreigner.

* * *

They followed the map, with unusual moving pictures and three dimensional objects and arrived at a cave.

"Well, this shouldn't be too hard!" Naruto said, running in, with Sasuke not too far behind, wanting to get this over with.

_**2 Hours later…**_

"OMFG!" yelled a Naruto, panting and leaning against a chest they found. "The hell is wrong with this place?"

Sasuke was also leaning against a wall, and was equally tired and pissed, bit didn't show it. "Dobe… I couldn't agree with you more." Indeed. They confronted weird elf like humans, cats and lizards standing tall like lizards, and weird ogre type men. There were also plenty of beasts that resembled fairy tale trolls, and dog like rats.

"I didn't even see a sweet roll in here!" Naruto yelled. They found weird weapons and armor, and plenty of gold and gems, but no sweet rolls.

"We didn't check this chest yet." Sasuke said, moving Naruto out of the way and opening the chest, only to find a rusted dagger and a note inside.

"A note?" Peered Naruto, "What's it say, teme?"

He read the note aloud. 'If you want your precious sweet roll back, you will meet me back at your headquarters. Tell no one else.'

They both pondered over the note they read. 'All for a sweet roll' they both thought.

* * *

They arrived back at Konohana, and went back into their base, only to find a brutal, burnt mess of what the guard used to be on the floor.

"Well, well, well…" said a voice from a far," you finally made it."

One of the Lizard men they saw earlier approached them. "Who are you?" demanded Sasuke?

"I. Am. Argyl, the Argonian (Stephen plays)." He said. "And ive been pursuing that sweet roll for weeks."

"Why!?" Naruto demanded.

"To return it to Ulfric Stormcloak." He said.

"But that Guard worked with Ulfric!" Naruto yelled, still not processing the situation.

"No," he said, "He was an imposter I was asked to kill."

Naruto was still processing this information, when Sasuke asked, "Why should we trust you?"

"Do you really have a choice? If I lied or not, you would never really know. Kill me and I'm innocent, the storm cloaks would lose their best warrior and would demand war, you really can't risk that."

Naruto and Sasuke gritted their teeth slightly. "But hey! You did good dealing with them. Take these as a reward." He tossed them both a flawless diamond. "I've got plenty more where that came from."

The man walked outside and shot a ball of energy on the floor, causing a flaming purple horse to manifest in its place. Naruto and Sasuke just gaped at this, watching the lizard go off into the sunset… at 1:30 pm…

"Well… Mission, accomplished I guessed?" said Naruto. "At least we got paid."

Sasuke nodded. "What about the body?" he asked.

Naruto shrugged, "Let Anbu deal with it."

Sasuke nodded and went with Naruto to get lunch, unaware of the dragon approaching Konohana.

… **Ta da!**

**Any suggestions for misadventures these guys could get to, leave a reply in the comments. **

**Whether crossover possibilities or simple misadventures they could go through, just leave it.**

**R &amp; R**


End file.
